It was like a nightmare
me and her – we were best friend
and yet, the relationship we have were diverged;
we both move away from each other
because it was meant to be diverged.
It’s like life wants me to feel broken often
me and him –
but there was an event occurred, the earthquake
someone is not happy, someone is hurt
and because it was meant to happened.
Lastly, I felt numb for this often happens
me and a group of friends –
we were legendary,
we were solid
now, we sliding past each other
like we never made memories
and a history.
I was counting one to ten. I hope this world will be beautiful as what God’s thought. At ten, it was dark where they put everyone in violence. It was nine when everyone tried to break someone’s soul – raped, sexual assault/sexual intercourse. Eight… I bet eight thousand persons in this world who are against human rights, people who are against feminism. Seriously? They are too severe. I was looking at the clock, it’s now seven. I know you are one of those seven billion persons who judged people by its look; appearance, by its history, by how they talk. You just broke their confidence; it will never be okay. At six, it was so noisy and loud. A lot of people in this world doesn’t care about one person’s feelings; so insensitive. They bullied, throw some name-calling, tease someone, cat calling, and sometimes it’s not a nice joke anymore. And the worst is, you do cyberbully. You just destroyed someone’s reputation. Now we’re here at five. I just slept five times yesterday and when I woke up it was so silent. In this chaotic world, millions of people are in pain, depress, crying at the corner of her room silently, crying at laying on the floor of their comfort room, and enduring because of you. Think about it that you’re one of the reason why they are in dark without any light. One, two, three, and four. Four hundred melodies, four hundred songs a lot of people don’t want to hear anymore because you just lost its meaning. You hurt someone and you broke her heart into pieces because of what you did; you betrayed her, you cheated at her, you did something not good. Three in the morning, I was thinking about people who did suicide. I know you are one of those reasons why. Don’t deny it but you just called someone a slut, a dummy, an ugly, told someone to kill herself. Believe me, it is the most excruciating and they don’t believe in their own self anymore. At two, it is you and your thoughts. How can you think those to a person who always nice to you? Or maybe who didn’t do anything to you. At two, a lot of people who do crimes and violence until now and the holy heart of him is breaking. You can still help. Spread the words of knowledge and wisdom but first, you must understand it and find it by yourself. And it was the last water I drank before I slept. I was so thirsty. Thirsty of love, peace, and equality. This world was poured of love by Him, it’d be beautiful as what God’s thought.
Is it my fault that I’m not brave enough
to tell you something about how I feel towards you?
I like you –
but I don’t have any courage, any spunk
to tell you about it.
I’m not afraid if you’ll let me go
I’m not yet afraid if you can’t wait anymore
because I can still save myself
and love myself ford doing this
Is it my fault not telling you about my feelings?
That’s why we ended like this
having problem but we both don’t know
near to end –
’cause slowly we’re getting there
Is it my fault if you finally give up?
because I’m being coward not to tell you
about what I feel
I like you –
but I’m too late to tell that
because you’re slowly not getting in touch of me,
because you’re slowly not showing
how you feel like before
Is it my fault?
because I didn’t risk.
I’m afraid to risk.
You know how much I love sunflowers
but you always give me roses
You know I love the fragrance of the sunflowers
but you love giving me roses
You know I love yellow
but you always choose the red one
You know everything about me
but you choose not to remember
That’s why I always pretend that I like you for giving me roses
with a fake smile
but you never see it in my eyes
because you always choose what makes you happy
and you always prioritize yourself for being happy